How GAY are you?
Find out how GAY you really are, so you can stop pretending you are not a homo.
What do you think of the new Michael Jackson movie?
Who gives a shit?
I am glad to see he has been forgiven for molesting kids
I will see it when it gets to cable.
I will see it or did see it at the movies!
I have seen it many times and will buy the DVD!!
You are hammering a nail and hit your finger with the hammer, what do you do?
Curse and hit the hammer harder until your hand bleeds
Curse and then rub your finger until it stops hurting.
Throw the hammer in the air and start crying.
Start crying and ask your wife to finish hammering the nail
Call your best friend and ask him to come over and help you.
You are watching a Clint Eastwood western and you are thinking:
He could have killed more people if there had been less talking.
Why does Clint have to be so violent?
Why is he so rude to the women in the movie?
Why can't Clint try to understand the bad guys and encourage them to be good?
Why can't he give up his guns and talk to people about peace?
Why did he only do one musical (Paint Your Wagon)?
You are at the gym doing cardio next to a guy who really stinks bad, what do you do?
Ignore his stench until you want to throw up and then leave the area.
Politely ask him if he can go home and take a shower
Tell him he stinks like dead monkeys and ask him if he has heard of deodorants!
Go to the club manager and politely complain about the stinky guy
Ignore the stinker and then write about it on FB or your blog
Turn blue and throw up on the stinky guy
You are at the gym and you ask a guy if you can work in on the same machine and he says NO.
You politely ask the club manager to tell the guy he must let you work-out in on the equipment.
You tell him to go F himself and to shove the barbell up his axe.
You shove him into the wall and tell him to F off while you work out.
You piss your pants and ask him not to hit you as you leave.
You tell your friend and he asks the guy to let you work out on the same machine.
You see your wife or GF flirting with her boss at the Christmas party, so
You get the boss drunk and push him down the stairwell when nobody is looking
You ask the boss if he is messing with your wife and then beat the crap out of him no matter what.
You beat up her boss and then rob him too since he is bound to fire your wife now.
You ask the boss if he will give your wife a raise if she puts out.
You ask your wife if she thinks she will get a raise if she puts out.
You blow the boss yourself so your wife won't have to.
You can see any live concert double-bill in the universe, you choose:
KC and the Sunshine Band opening for Michael Jackson
The Village People opening for Donna Summer
AC/DC opening for Metallica
Aerosmith opening for the Rolling Stones
Boston opening for The Cars
Christina Aguilera opening for Lady GaGa
Cher opening for Madonna
Britney Spears opening for Miley Cyrus
The MASH TV series is on TVLand and Hallmark Channel 24/7, do you watch it?
Hell no, MASH sucked!
I watch it occasionally, Alan Alda was a good actor.
I watch it often!
I have the boxed DVD set, and watch it religiously!
When you were a little boy
Everyone thought you were a girl?
Everyone used to beat you up?
Everyone was afraid of you?
You were the kid that beat up the other kids
You were a nice kid, but not a homo
You became an Altar Boy and a priest molested you
You see Ice Skating on your TV, what do you do?
Shoot the TV and then toss it out of the house and burn it.
Change the channel and write a letter to the network.
Make sure nobody sees you watching it.
Call your family and watch it for hours.
Keep your own scorecard of the skaters and predict winners
You want to teach your son one of the following:
How to shoot a gun and/or hunting
Football or hockey
Baseball or basketball
Soccer or volleyball
How to beat up bullies at school
How to get along with the bullies
How to bake cookies for his friends
how to dance disco
how to be open minded and accept that some kids have 2 Daddies.
Fishing and how to scale fish.