Are you Joe or are you Shaun?

Are you the dark yet incitefull Joe? Or are you the logical and tender Shaun?

1 Hair?
2 Music?
3 You suddenly get jumped by ninja's, WHAT NOW!?
4 A random comes up to you and slaps your face and screams "THE ALIENS ARE COMING!", drops his pants and then persists that you shove a cork up his rectum. WHAT DO YOU DO!?
5 Which skin colour are you mostly perceived as?
6 Last 2 alcoholic beverages on earth. Preference between the two
7 A black guy runs down the street with cops running ater him, what's the first thing that comes to mind?