The Nick Boyd Scale: Rate how crazy you are

See how crazy or demented you are compared to Nick Boyd who has been felt up by an 80 year old woman, goes on 4chan because it's funny and would prefer to eat jizz over a booger.

1 Do you find a man with a cactus in his bum...
2 You see a baby being split in two. Do you...
3 You're being felt up by an old person. Do you...
4 You're at home and bored. Do you
5 How many times can you wear the same piece of clothing in a week?