What's your Tourette's expression?

Tourette's syndrome: paradoxically a terrible affliction and yet as funny as fuck! Play this game of "Tourette's Roulette" and find out what your choicest colourful coprolalic expression would be...

1 You are best man/bridesmaid at your best friend's church wedding. During the exchange of vows, the vicar violently breaks wind. Do you...
2 A group of rowdy students are returning from the pub at midnight and are kicking over dustbins in your street. Do you..
3 You are in the local supermarket in the "10 items or fewer" queue when you notice that the old-age pensioner in front of you has 11 items in her basket. You...
4 You are waiting patiently for a car parking space when someone nips in at the last minute. You...
5 You are watching the popular ITV1 show "The X Factor" when John & Edward come on. You think...
6 It's your birthday and your friend has bought you the latest CD by Dappy from N-Dubz. You...