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Total Douche

You're the biggest douche I've ever seen. You walk around with a popped collar wearing a hat with a baseball team you don't even know the name of with an annoying ass grin on your face. You ask for girls cellphone numbers and then text them everyday, all day. Even though they answer back with one word answers you still persist with questions about their day and what they're doing. You think you're a great flirt but girls are just flattering you because they think you're lonely (you are). Your profile picture is you with your shirt off in the mirror and you have a bottle of Tequila in your hand. Your car of choice is a Dodge Charger or a Honda Civic with an obnoxious exhaust and flame decals from Pep Boys on the side. You constantly quote Borat and after watching a Judd Appatow movie your quoting it constantly for the next month. Your friends are douches and you hang out in a douchy way. Your #1 catch phrase is: "suck my dick!" or "High Fiiive!". Go celebrate this triumph with an Ed Hardy shopping spree and put on that inflated self esteem that you don't deserve, you douche, you.

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