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Atomic loogie

Chuck Norris spits at the back of your head. Upon impact, the loogie releases approximately 58.7 times the amount of energy of a hydrogen bomb into your skull, destroying your body before pain is able to register. The shock is so powerful, that a spike of energy shoots out of the opposite side of earth and brings down a retired Soviet satellite, which then falls into Mr. Norris' backyard. He then proceeds to eat it after wrapping it with razor wire.

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