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You have recently spent a large amount of time at the Perth Zoo orangutan enclosure, to the bemusement of all who know you. Often you return from there with red hairs mysteriously stuck between your teeth. When you’re not at the Zoo, you love to dog the boys for various unknown females (in particular Georgia Broad) and often explain away your Saturday nights as having been at work. Everyone is awake to your sly efforts and you are a repeat offender. A notorious hard man, you have attempted to make the transition to the rats, with the rattle of your car keys being the signal that you are approaching. A self-proclaimed sexist, you place little value upon women and view them as ‘serving a purpose’, which is at odds with the front you present to them. Can commonly be heard exclaiming “oh myyyy goodddd I haven’t seen you in, like, forever” to any girl near you at a party.

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