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One of the stereotypical greaseball dings at the college you have grown in notoriety over the preceding months in no small part due to your ‘mad dog’ antics. You can often be heard saying “chances of a dodge/spit”, “she had the smelliest (insert derogatory term for vagina)” or “man I just wanna get my dick wet”. One of the first to get your P’s you have used this to full advantage, gaining you friends which you never would have had access to. You have an outrageously hot sister and secretly everyone resents you for this. Many have discussed the theory (which is gaining in support) that your hard man persona is a cover for your latent homosexuality. You need to come out of the closet.

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