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Dix/Bird

The stereotypical nerd of the group, you bear an uncanny resemblance to a llama. You are a real family man and love to take care of your sisters rather than come out with the boys. You are also, much like your lover Bronson, an accomplished actor and are particularly adept at portraying the “tough c*nt”. This is at odds with your pre-pubescent girl physique and your inability to defy the totalitarian rule of your mother. Lately you have experienced marital troubles with your wives, Mrs. Menaglio and Ardon. This love triangle has been further complicated by your falling out with Holmsey, which tore your heart in two, leaving you a changed man. You are also well known for your shonky radar which led you to perform an accidental barracuda, without the barra.

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