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Gumble

Affectionately known as Gumble/Tractor/Bacon/Rock Spider you are a real plodder, a log of a thing, who is the subject of countless disparaging remarks (mainly at the hands of your best/only friend Moo). With loose morals and looser bowels, both your personality and arsehole stink. Not blessed with amazing athletic ability you make do with the talents you do have, which include murder, rape and child molestation. You are a quiet achiever, almost imperceptibly quiet, and this has enabled you to sneak up on numerous unsuspecting toddlers. Your softly-spoken nature and Ringo Starr haircut have given you the unique ability to gain the trust of minors, if not their parents. You share a close, almost business-like relationship with ABC Learning Centres, and continue to benefit from this arrangement. You desire a closer relationship with Moo, needing his approval, and will do anything to gain his respect (as long as it doesn’t involve speaking). In the future you hope to join the brotherhood and become a priest to errrr serve God.

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