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Teacher

Congratulations, you're going to make the world a better place! Yay! you're goin to be a teacher, isn't that fun? Remember how much teachers sucked in grade school? Not you my friend, because you'll wear a cape to school and that makes everything better. You'll get married twice, first to someone whose first name begins with C or K and then [after you cheat on them with a pornstar] to someone whose last name begins with an M.

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