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Shredder

You fight the ninja turtles with your amazing guitar skills. You also hate splinters, especially big grey ones. You might be Japanese sometimes in the mornings when you wake up. Also you probably have very good oral sex skills due to overdeveloped neck muscle. Sometimes you actually think about things. Things like world peace and hunger. Then you eat more donuts and play sweet home alabama look at your rebel flag and say "Aint no better place then 'Merica!! YeEEEEEEEhOOOOOOEEEEEE!" You then shoot five people in the foot. Ultimate job is mechanic that only works on muscle cars while half drunk. Ultimate weapon is annoying ability to play sweet Home Alabama somehow wherever you are.

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